God Knew Everything About Me, Everything

Over the past week Psalm 139 has come up five times in either lessons or conversation with fellow believers so I feel led to write my thoughts about it. Psalm 139 is about God's Perfect Knowledge of Man. It tells us that God knows everything we think, do or say. He is present where ever we go. That is easy enough to grasp but there is more to it than that. Verse 16 says "Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me. When as yet there were none of them." That means that God knew all the days of my life before I was ever born. This is where my flesh can get in the way of God's message. I'll give you an example. My brother and I were abandoned by our parents when we were just babies, 18 months apart. We were left in a very abusive environment and in very poor conditions. My brother passed away when he was only eleven years old, I was ten. The minister who dedicated my brother sent me a letter trying to help me understand what had happened. In that letter he quoted this Psalm to let me know that God had a plan for me. The problem was, I was lost so I did not understand the Word of God.(that's another blog) When I read that God knew all the days of my life I became angry, thinking if God knew what my life would be then why did He even let me be born. I never mentioned that feeling to anyone, not even after I had received Jesus as my Savior. It was just a question I always carried with me. Finally one night while I was in prayer the question just popped out, God why! He answered very clearly, because I knew that I would carry you through it and I would use this experience to advance My kingdom. You see, we tend to get caught up in the why me train of thought. What we should focus on is that God is always with us and has a plan for us to be used by Him, even in our darkest hour. Today I speak to young people who are in similar situations at schools and the Y.C.C. I am able to tell them that I was where they are now and I made it through. I am able to tell them that God brought me through it and as I got closer to Him, He gave me peace and understanding. God didn't take my brother from me, He blessed me with him for a few years and I am grateful for that. He didn't take my parents from me, He put me where He needed me to be so that I would become the servant I am today. Yes, God knew everyday you would live, good and bad. Yes, He intended you to go through all of them so that you would draw closer to Him. If you are carrying some hurt from your past or if you went through something you don't understand, ask Him what He needs for you to learn from it or how He needs to use it. I promise you He will reveal it to you and give you the same peace He has given me. Lord, I thank you for allowing me to experience the things You have and for molding me the way You needed me to be.